Lightening Up, Briefly

There are two things very hard to sustain. First, "life as an emergency" burns you out in no time because the process of living is not a chronic emergency because emergencies by nature exist briefly. Second, tolerating "the daily grind" of the q'rap in the world wears one out fairly often and requires considerable replenishment to keep going. The news of the day falls into this second category, and it is relief from that sustained focus that we must have.

Well, try this.

Someone close to us sent us this. If you are not some nostril-flaring, vituperating, soap-boxing "young turk," you will find yourself here, and your funny bone will be tickled. Have a recharge, on us:

25 Signs that you've grown up

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break up

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won't turn the stereo down.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and
antacid, not condoms and a pregnancy test.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never
going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that

doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

Then you forward it to a bunch of friends 'cause you know they'll do the same . . .