The Plan

OK, here's the plan:

1) Build a barrier.

"They" say "fences don't work." "They" are just wrong - barriers work very nicely, and they always have. "They" say the cost would be outrageous. "They" are wrong again; the cost of a nice barrier, along the full length of the border with Mexico (not just the sissy 700 mile fence they keep talking about) would cost about the same as the reconstruction of a stretch of highway that was damaged in an earthquake in Seattle a few years back. If we still think we can't undertake it for some reason, outsource the damned thing to the Israelis.

2) Get the IRS in on it.

Tell employers of illegal aliens that unless the Social Security numbers of the people they hire match the names, they - the employers - won't be able to claim the salaries as a deduction as a business expense.

3) Make English the official language of the U.S.

All government documents, including road signs, will be printed in English only; English will be the language in which classes will be taught (with the exception of foreign language courses and schools which use "immersion" as a means of teaching a foreign language). If translations of any government documents are needed by legal visitors to this country, they will be their responsibility, and not produced at taxpayer expense. Proficiency in English will be required of all candidates for United States citizenship.

4) Withdraw all welfare benefits to illegal aliens.

Any illegal aliens appearing at a hospital emergency room will be treated, and when stable, will be deported; no other taxpayer expenses, including: in-state tuition at colleges and universities, attendence at tax-supported pre-schools through twelve, food stamps, rent subsidies, mortgages, etc. will be incurred.

5) Amend the Constitution to disallow "anchor babies."

6) Deport illegal aliens.

As illegal aliens appear at various locations, determine their status and deport them. This shall include illegal aliens currently in our prisons, who shall be deported as soon as they have completed their sentences, and will be permanently identified as "persona non grata" with respect to re-entry into this country.

7) Deputize citizen volunteers to work with the Border Patrol.


There; how's that? Any other suggestions?