GUEST BLOG: Jacques Chirac and the Second Battle of Tours

"Maxflack" sent us his take on the French civil war. We thank him for this fine article, which is also posted on his website.

France at the crossroads: JACQUES CHIRAC AND THE SECOND BATTLE OF TOURS

“I will not allow organized gangs to make law in the suburbs,” said French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin. The authorities “will not give in” he told the French parliament; restoring order is the “absolute top priority.”

Jacques Chirac’s foreign and domestic policy birds are coming home to roost—big birds, nasty birds, vultures, buzzards; those that feast on the carrion of dying civilizations; not the wretched helpless pigeons, billing and cooing, on Brando’s rooftop in On The Waterfront; these are like the beasties Alfred Hitchcock unleashed on Tippi Hedren in The Birds.

“The Republic is quite determined, by definition, to be stronger than those who want to sow violence or fear,” French President Jacques Chirac said after a meeting with his ministers and top advisors. “The law must have the last word.”

Was Pepe ducking his head and looking up at the sky when he said that? Perhaps. Birds coming home to roost make an awful lot of noise. Ask Cauliflower McPug. Cauliflower was always hearing birds. Fortunately, for McPug the feathered creatures he heard were imaginary—he had taken one punch to the head too many; sort of like Chirac. Unfortunately for Pepe, the birds are far from imaginary and are of the most deadly and far-ranging species. Jihad ornithologists have spotted them attending Osama bin Laden seminars in the desert, gathering in the back rooms at Saudi Royal Palaces with the Muslim Brotherhood, and, most recently, lurking among the gargoyles atop Notre Dame Cathedral.

Nicolas Sarkozy, French Interior Minister, referred to the delinquents— Whoa! Delinquents? That’s a good one. It conjures up images of Potsy and Ralph-Malph about to take part in a Happy Days escapade…Anyway, Sarkozy referred to the delinquents as ‘rabble’ and ‘scum.’ Ah, at last, a man with a head on his shoulders! And he has promised a ‘war without mercy!’

So the birds have come home to roost—call them scum, organized gangs, those who want to sow violence and fear. Chirac and de Villepin and Sarkozy have a problem on their hands—a big problem; a national and cultural crisis—and unless they can muster up the courage to call a ‘Muslim’ a ‘Muslim’ they are going to fail.

Sure, call them scum. The New York Times prefers ‘insurgents.’ Call them ‘rabble.’ The Socialist Daily Worker prefers ‘ruthlessly exploited masses.’ Are they organized gangs? They are in a sense. The BBC uses words like poor, unemployed, underprivileged, disenfranchised, disaffected, victims of discrimination.

Al-Jeezera and its running dogs describe the ‘delinquents’ as immigrants from North Africa. That’s good—it’s bit more direct. They also describe them as Arab and African immigrants from North Africa. That is even better—but nobody calls them Muslims; that would be insensitive, politically incorrect and might needlessly alarm Irma La Deuce. Not that there isn’t cause for alarm. Some of the ‘delinquents’ have said scary things. “He (Sarkozy) makes us suffer,” said one. “He’s a racist. He’s put fuel on the fire.” “We’ll stop when Sarkozy steps down,” threatened another ‘delinquent.’ And from hundreds of throats came the cry, “This is our land!” and, of course, the ubiquitous “Allahu akbar!”

Let’s get this straight—Marie Antoinette’s land is their land? Louis XIV’s land is their land? Charles Martel’s land is their land? Jacques Chirac’s land is their land? Yes—it says so in the Qur’an. “Your land is their land.” Look under dhimmi and Dar al-Harb.

An editorial in the Tehran Times by Hassan Hanizadeh calls on Muslim countries to observe their religious and humanitarian duties and to form a committee to investigate the deaths of two Black youngster—thug A and thug B—and the living conditions of Muslims residing in France; the said report to be submitted to the Organization of the Islamic Conference and the Islamic Human Rights Committee, not to be confused with the Heinrich Himmler Human Rights Committee or the Ilse Koch Death Camp Watch.

The editorial warns: “France is in such a critical situation that the expansion of the demonstrations could lead to the collapse of France and its division into Muslim and Christian sections.”

This thing is getting seriously out of hand. It’s well past Hitchcock and Brando and is gaining steam. These are not ordinary birds—these creatures are straight out of the 7th Century; Islamic pterodactyls thirsting after dhimmi flesh with no more remorse for the fate of its victims than Rodan had for what was left of Tokyo. You have a problem, Jacques—just say so. You can explain later why you led France into Dante’s Inferno.

If Eliot Ness wasn’t afraid to call Al Capone a gangster and Shane had the courage to tell Wilson he was a dirty Yankee liar and the meathead, in spite of considerable family restraints, could call Archie a bigot, and Curly could give Moe the raspberries knowing full well he would get a finger in the eye, you, Jacques Chirac, the last, perhaps, in a long line of mostly uninspiring French leaders from Louis I and Charles the Fat to Napoleon and Charles de Gaulle, with a little courage, could go down in history as Jacques the Savior. One cataclysmic moment of truth would do the trick. Suck in your stomach, grab de Villepin with one hand and Sarkozy with the other, close your eyes, open your mouth and say, “ Islam is the cause of our problems and I’m not going to take it any longer.”

What’s the worst that could happen? Some dirty looks, a finger in the eye—didn’t bother Curly—a fatwa or two, a visit from a suicide bomber, slippage in the polls? That last could really hurt. Suppose Peewee Herman knocked down a half-dozen Harley-Davidsons while parking his bicycle in front of a Hells Angels bar. Would he survive the night? Not likely. Chirac’s chances of finding the political courage to successfully handle France’s current emergency are not any better. It’s a shame. France is at a crossroads—to the left is dhimmitude, to the right, Tours. Charles Martel is waiting.


---maxflack